While I listened to the wind howling outside tonight I watched last night’s episode of Glee. Honestly, I have grown tired of Glee and was not planning on watching last night’s episode, but still have my DVR set to record the show. I was not planning to watch the episode until I heard today how it was an episode about bullying and suicide. I was interested to see how they did this.
I walk away rather disappointed. Although the show depicts the steps leading up to a suicide attempt and talks about the person being in the hospital after the attempt not once do they say he attempted to take his life. Not once do they say he attempted suicide. In fact I can only recall one point in the show where the topic was ever directly said. I think the quote was “Come on Mr. Schuester, I do not think anyone here would consider taking their own life.”
Yes, I saw the suicide theme, but is that 12 year old kid going to catch on and realize that subtly the episode was saying that you have a lot to look forward to, and think about that when you are depressed and considering suicide. Get help if you are considering suicide, talk to your teachers, talk to your best friend. It was a moving episode and covered a very hard topic and I respect the show for covering it, but I also think that Glee took the easy way out.
The one really important thing the show did, is say that it is ok to admit you have contemplated suicide. This is especially relevant to me. Within the last 3 weeks or so I was having a conversation with someone and the topic of suicide came up. I honestly cannot remember who I was talking about it with or what the conversation was actually about. I do know it was not with someone considering suicide.
During this conversation I debated whether I should admit to them that I personally considered suicide. Ultimately, I did not say anything, but I remember later that night I wish I admitted it. Watching the episode of Glee tonight I thought back on that conversation and wish I admitted that I not only considered but attempted suicide when I was younger.
Even on this site I have not been completely honest about the subject. Yes, I have discussed my suicide attempts, but I have not admitted that I considered suicide as little as 2 years ago. Today I am in a better spot and much more comfortable with myself. I do not care as much what other people think. But 2 years ago there were times that I wondered if I would ever be able to come out. There were times that it all seemed to be too much. I was not extremely serious about it 2 years ago, but it was a thought that crossed my mind. There were 10 years of my life I thought about suicide as an alternative, 10 years of thoughts I wish I never had and am happy I was never successful acting upon.
Watching the episode of Glee tonight I realized that I need to be honest and open about this. Kind of like how people used to believe that they did not know anyone who is gay, there are many people today who believe they do not know anyone who has considered suicide. They do not know anyone who has attempted suicide.
I wonder if more people’s eyes were open to how truly prevalent contemplating suicide is, how many lives could be saved?
Everyone knows about Rick (Frothy) Santorum’s Google problem. Although disappointingly it has recently fallen to the third spot when you search for Rick Santorum. However, it is still the first result for just Santorum.
Recently Mitt Romney has also inherited a Google problem. “To defecate in terror.” Although tame compared to Santorum and still only the third result for the Google search Romney and not on the first page for the Google search Mitt Romney it is certainly a growing problem.
Some are also trying to create Google problems for Newt Gingrich asking for submissions for your definition for Gingrich.
Chris Christie is also a target for his promise to veto New Jersey’s gay marriage bill. With a site launched just 3 days ago, Christie has been redefined as “The crusty spooge that a closeted politician’s wife finds on his jeans after his night with a young, crystal-addicted, male escort.”
So what are some good definitions you can think of that would be worthy to rename some of the homophobic candidates and what candidates do you think deserve it?
I was at Outback eating dinner last night with a couple acquaintances and one of them asks if I am single. I proceed to answer that I am and she starts talking about how she has this gay friend and he and I would be perfect for each other. She wants to hook us up on a date.
When I expressed that I did not necessarily want to be hooked up with him she proceeded to say I have another gay friend too… I appreciate that she cares enough to try to hook us up, but at the same time just because someone is gay does not mean I am going to like them. I do not want to be hooked up with every gay guy. Now if you want to bring him with you when we are getting together a couple times and introduce us that is fine. That if done appropriately is not a hook up but a casual introduction. If we enjoy each other’s company those nights we can take it from there without being pushed into an awkward hook up. It also means we will be in a group setting and if we do not like each other we do not have to spend the entire time talking to each other.
I know the straight world can be the same way, but the difference is when someone tries to hook up a gay person they start listing every gay person they know. Just because they know two single gay guys they would be perfect for each other. Yes, the dating pool is a lot smaller for gay guys, but that does not mean we are interested in every gay guy out there.
So if you want to hook me up on a date do it in a subtle way. Bring your friend with you one night when we are getting together and see where it goes. Do not try to make it a date.
I got a wedding invitation yesterday for a good friend’s wedding in Indianapolis. Obviously by the location this friend is straight.
Every time I get an invitation to a straight couple’s wedding I always stop and think for a bit. I do not think how it is unfair that they can get married and I cannot. I am happy for them and wish them the best. I stop and wonder should I bring my boyfriend with me, or if I do not have a boyfriend at the time if I had a boyfriend would I bring him with me?
I know my friends are fine with me being gay. But I do not know about their family. Their wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of their lives. I do not want to cause a scene with their family by bringing my boyfriend, but at the same time that is who I am and if they are inviting me they know that is a possibility.
I debate asking the couple, but that puts them in a hard position. It also would show that I believe my relationship is inferior. I also would feel very weird asking the couple as it is not something I should have to do in the first place.
I have come to the compromise of telling the couple I am going to be there with my boyfriend. I would work it into a conversation like my boyfriend and I look forward to seeing you at your wedding. That way I am not asking, but also giving them warning. If having my boyfriend and I at their wedding is going to be a big deal with their family they can then ask me not to bring my boyfriend. I know it puts them in a hard spot if it is an issue, but I do not see anyway around it.
After reading the legal analysis of the Prop 8 decision released earlier this week I have come to realize that at the moment at least it really does not mean a whole lot. Ultimately it means that in the next round of appeals the supporters of Prop 8 have to prove why the appeals court was wrong. The gay community has to defend the decision released this week. No marriages are going to be performed until after the next round of appeals.
Also, the decision was very narrow. This ruling only applies to the state of California. Even if the Supreme Court hears this case and rules it unconstitutional the decision as written by the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals will not overturn marriage bans in every state.
So beyond California what is the impact of this ruling. If the Supreme Court does not hear the case very little beyond some more case law that will help in future suits. If the Supreme Court hears the case and rules that Prop 8 is constitutional a huge win for the religious reich and more ballot initiatives in states that have legalized same sex marriage to ban it.
If the Supreme Court hears the case and rules that Prop 8 is unconstitutional even on very narrow grounds this is a huge win. The media will portray the ruling as saying that banning Gay Marriage is unconstitutional, even if that is not exactly what the Supreme Court rules. This will give ammunition to the gay community and cover to politicians to begin overturning through the legislature bans against gay marriage all across the country.
So ultimately, I am happy with the ruling and cautiously optimistic for the future, but only time will tell.
The Ninth Circuit Appeals court today ruled that Prop 8 was unconstitutional in a 2-1 ruling. This will undoubtedly be appealed so the legal battle is far from over, possibly going to the Supreme Court later this year. Go to your favorite news site for more reaction and stay tuned for my full reaction later.