Yes, I know I have not posted in forever. Yes I know Christmas was 2 weeks ago. But I really should have written this post a week ago, and well obviously I did not.
I went home for Christmas and was home for 10 days. This was the first time I have been home after coming out to my family. In general things were fine, but I have this nagging feeling it is because I do not have a boyfriend so my parents can still pretend that I am straight. Things really only got weird on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
My parents are Catholic, I am not. I think my parents have known this for several years, but it was something I never said. So my family went to Christmas Eve mass and I went along to be respectful. However, for the first time I really did not participate in mass. I did not sing, I did not do any of the sayings, and I did not go up for Communion. At least for me it was very weird, I also get the impression that it was weird for my parents too. Nothing extreme or upsetting just weird.
We also drove in 2 cars. My dad and my brother Justin went in one car and the rest of us in the other. Apparently during their drive my dad was in a brooding mood asked my brother if I had talked to him. I had not yet gotten around to coming out to Justin so he had no idea what my dad was talking about. At 1 AM Christmas morning Justin and I are talking, tells me what my dad asked, and I come out to him. No big deal.
Christmas afternoon was more interesting and demonstrated to me how my dad has a real problem with talking about sex. We went to see “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”, probably not one of the best choices for family movie. If you have not seen it there are a lot of sex scenes in the movie. Anyway my dad storms out about 2 hours into the movie because of the sex scenes. The rest of us thought the movie was great, but he was extremely upset. The rest of the night was very subdued as a result.
His reaction to this movie told me that for now he at least is pretending to have no problem with the fact that I am gay. However, when I have a serious boyfriend and bring him home, things may change. I am not worried about that day though. I have already made my peace with myself and in the end that is all that matters.
January 6th, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Hey, I’ve only started reading your blog recently but really relate to your story and enjoy your blog. Coming out is one of the hardest things I have ever done, as much as I wanted to scream the words “I am gay” just would leave my lips. Even now when I meet new people and they ask about girlfriends I feel like i’m coming out all over again but it gets better. My mum was amazing with it, the next day she was jus making jokes about it! My dad was a bit stranger, I didn’t see him for a whole after he found out but when I met him it was cool! My parents have met my partner and he came on a family holiday recently! You sound like you are doing well though so wel done and believe me in a years time you will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about!
http://rantsandravingsofagay.blogspot.com/2012/01/its-pretty-dark-in-closet.html