Now that I have had a few days to reflect on coming out to my parents I think it is time for a more in depth reflection on coming out opposed to my initial snap posts written within hours of doing it.
Before coming out I believed that my parents already suspected. From what I can tell, my mom never suspected. My dad on the other hand suspected, but denied it by telling himself that I just like being alone.
Contrary to what I believed was going to happen the conversation with my dad went much easier than with my mom. My mom was quietly emotional and we sat there for thirty minutes before the phone rang and caused us to move on with the day. Thirty mostly silent minutes. My dad, who I suspected would not take the news well on the other hand, was very quick with seemingly no emotion.
I am happy I did it, and it is somewhat of a burden off of my shoulders, but the burden will not be completely lifted until they feel comfortable talking about it. After I came out to them we really did not have much in the way of conversations and they were all what is going of next week conversations. There were never conversations around how I or they were doing or anything emotional at all.
My dad who always says “Love You” whenever we talk on the phone and especially when dropping me off at the airport did not say anything when he dropped me off today. I think they are trying to act like nothing has changed, but everything has changed. It hopefully will improve our relationship as I no longer have to lie to them all the time. I no longer have to be careful to filter everything I say. I no longer have to resent being asked do you have a girlfriend. I can tell them I went to Pride instead of saying I went to a beerfest or something.
I still want to come out to my grandparents and probably will push the issue next year. But unlike my parents I only talk tommy grandparents 3-4 times a year, so it is not as hard not telling them.
I only got the chance to come out to one of my brothers this past week, but Iam not worried about that either.
I hope with time that my parents come to terms with it, and I am trying to be patient, but it is hard.
November 27th, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I am fairly new to the world of blogging and found your blog today. I found it very interesting and could relate to a lot of what you wrote.
I wish I had a blog when I was coming out. I am 23 and I came out to my friends when I was 20 and shortly after told my mum (who wasn’t at all surprised. Since then it has for miles easier my whole family knows and it takes a little getting used to but after a while you totally forget what life was like before you came out!
I hope everything gets better very soon for you! X