I have a friend who is quite a bit older than me and I am convinced her son is gay. Her son only hangs out with girls yet has never dated any of them. He never hangs out with any boys and apparently has even told his mom that he cannot go over to one of his friend’s houses because his friend is having her period right now and is too emotional.
This past weekend she and I were talking and she told me about how great of a husband her son will be as he understands girls periods. She also went on and on about how he is very emotional and in Middle School had to keep moving him between schools because he would be called gay. Do not get me wrong I am not calling any of these things she did wrong and think she is a great mother for moving him between schools constantly.
She knows I am gay and is fine with it. But she is also very religious. She just takes the stance that it is not her place to judge others for being gay, an alcoholic, or super religious. However, I also suspect she would be devastated if she learns her son is gay and for a little while it could ruin their relationship.
However, every time her son comes up for any length of time in conversation I want to scream “Have you ever considered that he may be gay?”. I refuse to do this for several reasons. First, I do not know for sure that he is gay. Second, if he is gay I do not want to force his hand. It is up to him when he wants to come out. The only thing I have said to his mom so far is make sure you do not try to force him to date. I remember my parent’s tried to make me do this and it was hard as I was not interested.
What would you do in this situation?
October 13th, 2011 at 6:41 am
Sounds like you’ve made the correct decision and for the right reasons. During my teens and early 20s, I became quite adept at developing reasons that I couldn’t date.