That last post was very hard to write. I was actually crying as I wrote the last couple of paragraphs. This post is a nice break from the deep emotional posts and a much simpler topic for me.
So when did I accept myself as gay? Honestly, I am not sure I ever did not accept myself as gay. I knew in elementary school that I was different, I just did not know the word for it. I knew in Middle School that I was gay when I asked a girl out just to get my friends off my back. I knew I was gay when my parents forced me to go through Confirmation since I was raised a Catholic. As best as I can remember I accepted myself as being gay as soon as I realized what gay was.
Yes, there were times I wished I was not gay. I still have those days occasionally now. However, the simple fact of being gay never led to depression or suicide attempts for me. What led to depression was the fear of what others would think. I was fine with myself, but cared what others thought. Some might call this not accepting yourself for being gay, but I disagree.
I know this is not a deep insightful post, but for me there was nothing deep and insightful about accepting myself. Yet, this is a question or a story I hear all of the time is when did you accept yourself for being gay. I know where a lot of people are coming from here and they struggle with the self guilt just because they are gay. This just is not somewhere where I can share anything more of my experience in this area.
August 23rd, 2011 at 10:46 pm
I was the exact same way, my parents asked me why I “thought” I was gay and I kept telling them that I just knew but they kept asking WHY! oh I don’t know guys, maybe um… Cause I and ATTRACTED TO MEN and NOT women, but of course I just kept peacful. And the more I think about it the more I think my parents are blessed I talk peacefully to them, my sister said she is angry with them and wants to talk to them but I hold her back, weird, I have a million reasons to yell at them but I just think, what would Jesus do? (cheesy I know but you can suck it!
and your last post made me cry a little, and I already cry a lot so thanks! 
Ifeel so bad for you, I guess I am lucky my parents are just cold and not angry, because when I show the slightest anger, my dad goes into an hour ling discussion on where those feeling come from, and you know what Chris, I don’t know why I’m so emotionally closed off from my dad ~:-| oh well, reading your posts just show me that I’m not alone in the weird family problems. And like you I am-I mean, was… Closer to my mom than my dad, until I had to yank the knife out of my back put there by my mom a while ago…