Aug 04 2011

When did I Realize I was Gay? Part 2

Posted by Chris in Chris
Add comment  

I realized I liked boys around the 5th grade or when I was 10. However, I did not realize this was different at the time or that there was a word for this. It would be another several years and a lot of stories before I realized it was different and there was a word for it.

It probably really sunk in that I like boys shortly after my dad caught me watching TV naked when I was 12. I was home alone and not expecting him for a while and all of the sudden he showed up. I have always been somewhat of a nudist and I was just watching TV naked because I did not want to wear clothes. Well my dad thought I was up to something else and explained things to me. After he caught me he sat me down for a conversation and asked if I was masturbating. I had no idea what masturbating was at the time and he unwittingly filled me in on all of the details. It was then that I realized that what I was doing with my friend was masturbating, but by that time we had quit doing it.

So of course a little while after our conversation I started masturbating again, but only this time carrying it through to the finish. All of my fantasies while doing this were of my neighbors. They were all I had to go on. It was also around this time that I started noticing my friends at school talking about girls and dating them. I started looking at girls and just wondered why anyone would want to hang out with them and have never figured out the answer to that.

This is when I realized I was different than my friends, but I still did not know I was gay. I was still in elementary school and too sheltered to know this.

It was probably another two years before I realized I was gay. In Middle School I started running Cross Country and Track and met a bunch of new friends. My 8th grade year my friends convinced me to ask a girl out. I really did not want to, but I did it just to get my friends off my back. In the stumbling way all young kids ask people out I asked her out. She politely responded not right now, and that was the end of it. The one and only time I have asked a girl out on a date.

It was when my friends were harassing me to ask her out that I realized I was gay.

Leave a Reply

If you are writing this comment as advertising, are not being civil, or are not contributing to the discussion please make sure to read the Comment Policy before commenting.

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Spam protection by WP Captcha-Free