Every gay guy who is in the closet worries about coming out at work. We are all dependent on the job for living money, and even if the company has an anti-discrimination policy that includes sexual preference, it is not something most of us are willing to deal with until we are financially independent.
This has been a stressful issue for me these past couple months as I am trying to come out at the same time as starting a new job. If I was financially dependent or out before I started I don’t think I would have found this as a stressful situation, but I wasn’t out and I did find it stressful.
Well, I found it stressful until last Friday. Last Friday, I learned one of the guys in my office is gay. Knowing that there is another gay guy in my office, and that he is accepted by the few other people in the office makes me feel like I can be open about myself.
On any given day there are only 6-8 people in my office, so you can understand why not being accepted by just a few would make for a frustrating work environment. Yet, I have to ask the question if I have been working for this company for 2.5 months how did I not know he was gay?
The truth is, I did suspect it, but like I try to envision myself he is a straight acting guy that you would never know is gay unless you ask him. I found out solely through a conversation that I honestly do not remember what it was about. The guy has been with his partner for 20 years and has brought him to the company Christmas party so I know the entire office should be aware of it.
Knowing this has made me a lot happier and relieved a burden from me. I really need to stop worrying about these things, but the financial implications made it a requirement. Anyway, I am a lot happier and I think knowing this will help me in coming out and get through this process faster.
August 27th, 2007 at 3:16 am
Coming out at work is always a difficult decision. I wish you the best of luck!
August 27th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
After 2.5 months, coming out shouldn’t be a worry (at work). Take some more time, feel better at the position, and make friends. I waited a year before coming out (at work), of course this could be because no one asked me the right question.
August 27th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Mikell, I agree it is a good idea to wait a while before coming out at work. And from my post, I am not saying I anticipate coming out in the next few weeks. However, I have made some friends at work, that I do occasionally hang out with outside of the office. I could see myself coming out to one of these people in the next couple of months. That is probably why I am thinking about this so much now.
Also, let me explain a couple things about my office. Yes, there are only 6-8 in the office on any given day, but the office actually has 35 people. So me hanging out with 2 of them outside of the office, really isn’t a very big portion of the office.